“You can stop throwing money on products, kitchen fixes are the best.”
Dad was raging. When 3 packages arrived in 2 days, disapproval had turned to full blown anger. TBH, Divs and me believe in retail therapy. Obviously, Dad did not. We were both summoned to a lecture on responsibility and savings and what not.
Midway my phone pinged and as I answered, dad turned away with a heated look, knowing he had lost me to technology.
Later, as I was exploring the menace of blackheads, I reviewed my pet project of DIYs. I had made a note of 5 cool DIYs and was looking for guinea pigs to test them on.
Daadi, my first ‘go-to’ is always game. The gentlest scrub of 4tbsp of ground oatmeal mixed with 2 tbsp of yogurt. As I applied and massaged the cool mixture onto her oh-so-soft skin, I explained the exfoliating properties of oatmeal and how the lactic acid in yoghurt helped moisturise and brighten skin. Daadi just smiled and closed her eyes trusting me fully. Awww… the darling. My next three guinea pigs were unlikely to be this accommodating.
Divs or my mom, who would be easier? I wondered and chose mom, who refused LOL. She wrinkled her face in disgust, “Egg on my face… yuck!” I offered another option, “Honey + cinnamon, ma. You love that combo. You even eat it.” I smiled… my trait of providing logical arguments is her legacy to me. When that didn’t work, I used the emotional bait, Mallika and her shenanigans… and how I wanted to do better than her and needed ma’s support. She relented and dad snorted.
As I applied the divine smelling mix on the blackheads, I informed her about the anti-inflammatory properties of cinnamon and the moisturising benefits of honey. I don’t think she heard a word, for all she spoke of was Mallika. I was transported to grade 5 — mum was asking me to inform the boss, of not being too trusting, and so on. It was a challenge, applying scrub around a non-stop talking mouth. Once done, it had to stay on for 20 minutes.
“The doorbell rang. Two more packages arrived as Dad looked on frustrated.”
2 done… 3 to go.
I found Divs in our room, feigning sleep. She is smart, this sister of mine. But then, so am I. I quickly made my snooty scrub of a tbsp each of brown sugar + honey + lemon juice and slowly started applying it on her face as she lay on the bed. She jumped up. “No way, I’m not your lab rat. I have a party to attend tonight. Don’t mess with my skin.” It took all my effort to convince her that the brown sugar would play exfoliant and honey would help prevent a random pre-party zit, due to its anti-bacterial properties. “And you know Divs, lemon a natural source of vitamin C, will tighten pores and brighten your complexion. You will glow tonight, rest assured.”
Just when I was gonna give up, she gave in! The circular motion of the scrub tickled, but she sat through it. “Leave on for 5 minutes,” was my final advice.
2 more to go. One would be me and the other… I looked at dad who roared when he caught the look “No!” My cajoling, which had worked when I was 5, was totally ineffective now. Dad stayed adamant.
Wondering what to do, I answered the doorbell rang and in walked Rani, our house-help. Dad was needed no more. 10 mins later, Rani was sitting with a mixture of baking soda and water on her face. “Didi, chehra gora banega kya?” This obsession with fair skin annoys me… uff! I told her it would be even better, her skin would shine with the dirt, excess oil and dead skin cells gone. Rinsing it with warm water and following up with moisturiser would do the trick.
And I used the last one on myself — a mixture of egg white and lemon. The stench did through me off but knowing that the egg whites would absorb excess oil and tighten the skin helped. And lemon, we already know.
Soon, there were happy faces with radiant skin everywhere. Dad seemed the most content. “Now you can stop throwing money on products and we can stop getting packages. Fixes from the kitchen are the best.”
Before I could respond, the doorbell rang. Two more packages arrived. As Dad looked on frustrated, I handed him (and the others) little gifts from my first pay cheque at DoYou. Oh, the look on dad’s face… EPIC!
Megha’s kitchen war against blackheads:
Ep01: When I got yelled at and exfoliation was a vacuum cleaner
TBH no one had ever asked me about ‘exfoliation’ in an interview before.
Ep02: When Pinot Noir gave life and Becca learnt about non-touring
We were in high spirits, both literally and figuratively.
Ep03: When I scored at a work meeting, but failed miserably at beauty sleep
"I had stayed up late researching the effects of blue light on beauty sleep. Ah, the irony!"
Ep04: When I big-sissied Divs and cleared the MO of night creams
"If I can't get my sister to understand skincare better, what chance do I have at explaining this to other women?"
Ep05: When a (delicious) man joined the trio and tutored them on glass skin
"Most women did not realise how simple it really was to make the skin underneath makeup the real star."
Ep06: When I successfully woke up tired skin, only for it to lose colour at work
"All I wanted was to shove Samar’s face into a bucket of ice, all I did was dunk my face in it."
Ep07: When my disappointing night was as trending as the French manicure
Everyone assumed that it was a case of ‘Netflix & Chill’ gone wrong!
Ep08: When Zumba helped my soul and pre-workout cleansing helped my skin
"I began tying my hair away from my face. No way was I going to let a guy give me a zit."
Ep09: When I won at skin fasting, but mom won in life
"My mom was ready with her next plan. She already had the look of victory on her face."